Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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