My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Damn victory sex feels great
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
