so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
