margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
