so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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