my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
