Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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