YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
