Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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