farters have to be the big spoon...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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