NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
