Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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