omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
