me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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