i just wanna soil my oats bro
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
