now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
