i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize