i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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