it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
