These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
