quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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