She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
