let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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