Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
