so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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