You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
