onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
