i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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