Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
