You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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