found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
