Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
