That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize