I wanna bring you to show and tell
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
