I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do vagina's smell?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
