I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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