if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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