i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
the liver wants what the liver wants
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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