Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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