she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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