Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
