just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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