I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
