Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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