peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
