End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
