Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
