I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
