Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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