I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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