So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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