"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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