Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
