If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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