Do you still have your period?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
