I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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