So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
