She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So much rum. So many feels.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
