I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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