You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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