i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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