I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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