Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
