Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
