I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
