now i know why i became what i already was.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
