This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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