They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
