Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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