Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
