did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize