i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
