I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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