Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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